


HOW Many Fucking Questions?!

by Forestwater



Series: Camp Camp Drabbles [3]
Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Drabbles, F/M, Gen, gwenvid is really only implied, terrible camp activities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 20:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13748316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forestwater/pseuds/Forestwater
Summary: When it's too rainy for the scheduled activity, the ever-resourceful Camp Campbell counselors turn to cheesy Internet questionnaires as a way to get to know one another.Of course, things probably would've gone better if either of them had read the questions beforehand.





	1. Grand Opening

**Author's Note:**

> Drabbles are short pieces of writing 100 words or fewer, usually based on prompts. In this case, each prompt is a question from [this post.](http://0reos-tbh.tumblr.com/day/2015/09/08) (Can't promise I'll do all the them, but I'll do the ones I find entertaining.)

"Don't worry, campers! I know it's rainy, but we have a great activity! Gwen found some nifty questions online so we can learn about each other!"

This was met with a chorus of groans.

"Come on, it'll be fun! One group can go over there -- and _you_ three will be with Gwen and I," he added, snagging Max's hood in one hand and Nikki's overalls in the other.

Max rolled his eyes. "Fucking _fantastic_."

"Why aren't _they_ stuck with either of you?" Neil asked.

The counselors exchanged a look. "We . . . didn't want to do this alone," David finally said.

"Cowards."


	2. Let's start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

"Why we're doing this," Neil muttered, earning him a high-five from Max.

David shook his head sternly. "There's lots to wonder about! The stars, the ocean --"

"-- if Gwen will ever get a real job --"

"If _Max_ will ever hit a growth spurt --" she shot back.

" _Gwen_." He gave her an admonishing frown and she settled back, pouting.

"Come on, next question," she said, tapping the paper.

Max snorted. "I can see why you didn't wanna split up. You two suck less together."

David's eyes filled with tears. "Aw, _Max!_ How sweet!”

"A _little_ less. Very small amount less. Barely counts."


	3. Do you ever get "good morning" texts from anyone?

Gwen groaned. "Be happy David doesn’t have your number. Every goddamn morning. At like, 3 or whenever you get up."

"I want you to have a good morning!"

"You know what would help? If you'd  _ let me fucking sleep _ ."

He frowned, hurt. "Language."

Neil shrugged. "My mom always texts, but it's more like 'take out the garbage.'"

David paused; Gwen could see his brain working to find the bright side to that. "It's, ah, good to practice clean habits early! Anyway, next question . . ." His eyes widened. "Gwen? Did . . . you read these over before you printed them out?"

"No. Why?"


	4. If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

Max grinned. "So, Camp Man. If your  _ boyfriend _ was a pothead, what would you do?"

He frowned thoughtfully "Well . . . I don't personally like the taste, but —" He was interrupted by three startled voices.

"No  _ fucking _ way!"

"David, are we allowed to say that?"

"Does it make you powerful?  _ Does it make you able to talk to wolves?" _

Max glared at David. "Bullshit. You're trying to look cool."

"There's nothing cool about drugs, Max!" He looked away. "B-but sometimes when grownups have . . . anxiety, they —"

"Get  _ stoned?!" _

"I shouldn't have said anything," he muttered. "Let's never talk about this again."


	5. Do you find it easy to trust others?

"Well I _used_ to before this conversation. Now I don't think I'll trust anything again." Max glared at David — the only person who didn't realize Max was full of shit.

His eyes widened in horror. "M-Max, I didn't mean — ! It's . . . not a big deal, and I don't really . . . anymore . . . I'm still the same person, and you can always rely on me!"

Max rolled his eyes. " _Obviously_ you're still the same person or you wouldn't be this fucking annoying."

Nikki shook her head solemnly. "Don't trust anyone. That's how you get shanked."

They just stared at her in silence.


	6. What were you doing at 11PM last night?

David frowned at the campers. "I hope everyone's answer is 'sleeping.'"

Gwen smirked. "Mine isn't."

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're not helping."

"Am I supposed to be?"

Max interrupted. "Well,  _ we _ were obeying curfew. Right, guys?"

"Right!"

"We were building a rocket launcher!"

Max sighed, accidentally mimicking David's exasperated expression. "Real goddamn smooth, Nikki."

She shrugged. "What? It's awesome!"

"If you fuckers blow anything up I'm going to kill you."

David gasped. "Gwen! We don't threaten the campers! Or swear at them!"

" _ You _ don't."

Max shook his head at them. "How haven't you been fired yet?"


	7. You're drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

_ "Gwen!" _

"Okay,  _ fine _ , I'll read the questions first next time! I didn't write them." She pointed to the Problem Children. "Besides, they'll get arrested together the first time they drink. Fifteen, I bet."

Max ignored her, turning to David. "I know you've never had 'grown-up drinks,' but use your imagination."

David pouted. These questions . . . "W-well, I guess it'd be Julia, my friend from -- from Camp Campbell!" He turned to the kids with a sunny grin. "Have I told you that story? I was a young camper just like yourselves --"

Neil groaned and covered his ears. "Go to the next question!"


	8. What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

"Should we . . . skip some of these?"

"Oh  _ noooo _ ," Max drawled, "we have to learn  _ all _ about each other!"

David hesitated. On the one hand, it'd be unfair to cut short their activity. But on the other . . . "I-I just don't think it's appropriate! Besides, it could hurt someone's feelings!"

"But it doesn't matter," Nikki said. "Because boys are gross --" she pointed at herself, "and girls are gross --" she gestured to Neil and Max, who nodded.

"And David's  _ obviously  _ a dateless virgin," Max interrupted.

"Gwen could be cheated on," Neil mused.

"Yeah, probably."

" _ Okay _ ," Gwen jumped in. "Moving right the fuck on."


	9. Are you close with your dad?

"I wish I was  _ less  _ close," Neil grumbled. "He won't leave me alone."

"That's not so bad," Nikki said. "My dad lives across town, and he’s always busy."

"Mine could be in Antarctica, for all I know." Max shrugged. "Sends me cool shit, though."

Gwen leaned toward David, watching the kids chatter. "This is actually kinda going well."

“I know!”

They beamed at each other, then Gwen said, “So. My dad’s the 'work 80 hours a week and unwind with more work' type. You?"

David dropped his voice. "I . . . haven't seen him in a while."

"Oh."


	10. I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

Nikki's nose wrinkled. "There's so many better things to do." Her eyes brightened. "Like hunting raccoons! Or  _ aliens!" _

"Although it is very likely some sort of alien exists," Neil said, "the odds of you running into one are so small you'd never meet one on your own."

"Stop being a buzzkill!"

Max ignored them, used to their bickering. "So I guess it's 'no''s all around," he said, smirking at the counselors. "I mean, that's normal for us  _ kids _ , but it's pretty sad for you."

Gwen's face was impassive. "Sure is," she agreed.

David flushed and looked away. "R-right! So anyway . . ."


	11. What are you listening to?

"Right now? A bunch of stupid fucking questions."

"I don't think it means  _ right _ now," Gwen said, glancing over at the questionnaire. "Maybe just recently? Like David's been on a 'white-guy-with-an-acoustic-guitar' kick all summer, and I wanna kill myself."

"Gwen!"

"Oh," Max said, then crossed his arms. "Well, we're not allowed to have phones or anything cool, so I change my answer to 'a bunch of stupid fucking people.'  _ And _ my friends," he added quickly, dodging Nikki and Neil as they both went to hit him.

"You really hate my music?" David asked, and she sighed.

"It . . . could be worse."


End file.
